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Put On Your Oxygen Mask Before Helping Another and Other thoughts From the Week

After a week of connecting with folks in several different “venues”, including “presenting” to three different audiences, I had a couple of ideas to share.
1. When we connecthrulove in relationships, whether that be with our children, our colleagues, our “constituents”, or our “customers”, it is important to first tend to ourselves. We need make sure that we are regulated (i.e. calm and in control of our emotions).
2. If consequences for inappropriate behaviors are punitive and not used to help a child/teen see how different behaviors could change an outcome, the punitive behaviors will continue in some form. Modeling appropriate behaviors is effective, imposing negative consequences and not connecting through relationship will destroy not build relationship.
3. My third takeaway after talking with school folks about trauma-informed/trauma responsive care is this: what if instead of advertising how successful a school system is because we have raised test scores, increased attendance, increased graduation rate, we highlighted how we connect with students? An example would be: In our school district, students safety matters, students voices matter, their choices matter, their needs matter, our students matter.

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